Dorothy was my neighbor

Often when I tell people I'm from Kansas, they often bring up the cinematic classic, The Wizard of Oz. It's something I'm used to, but not particularly proud of. Now there are several famous lines from that movie. “There’s no place like home.” “Somewhere over the rainbow.” Of course my favorite is “Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore!” Classic, just classic. Except, in my opinion, Judy Garland read that line totally wrong. I’d be saying, “Toto, toto, WE’RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE!!! WHOO HOO!!” The problem is, you can’t really enjoy Oz because you’re on the Wicked Witch’s hit list for smashing your house on her sister. I think, you know in order to kind of smooth things over, my first order of business would be to open up a Krispy Kreme donut shop. Right there. Just off the yellow brick road next to where the short people live. It’d be perfect. All of the citizens of Oz would be instantly addicted to the highest quality breakfast pastry of the late 20th Century. I’d have glazed donuts, sprinkled donuts, and I’d even have a “fly through” window for the flying monkeys to pick up their banana crème filled donuts. And I bet the Wicked Witch of the East would just totally forget about that whole sister-crushing incident and drop that whole being evil thing and start offering rides to the Krispy Kreme for the citizens of Emerald City, because it’s like a three day walk. Yes, harmony would be restored to Oz, of course it would mean the demise of the Lollipop Guild, but all’s fair in a capitalist system.