I Miss My TV

I've been so busy lately, I've not been able to dedicate as much time as I normally do taking in the benefits of a great American Institution, broadcast television. I recently read that an average American adult watches over 4 hours of television a day. I couldn’t believe that. Over 4 hours! How do these people do it? I could never limit myself to just 4 hours. There’s just so much on TV these days, so many channels. Even if there’s nothing “good” on, there’s still something on. You know the routine, first you look at your favorite channels hoping to find something you want to watch. When you find nothing there, you move on to your secondary channels, the ones that you remember there was something good on once. After that, it’s the TV Guide channel to find anything worth watching, or at least, a show that will come on in the next hour or so. Then you’re only stuck with bad shows until this other thing comes on, so you begin to search for the best show that’s on until then which is usually Xena: Warrior Princess because I think it has its own channel now. Seriously, any time of day, you can find Xena. Actually Xena retired so they stopped making that show. How does a warrior princess retire? I guess she just stepped back from the warrior part because I imagine it’s pretty hard to give up being a princess. And that’s why she had to stop making the show, because who would watch a show called "Xena: Princess and retired warrior?" No one, that’s who. But hey, that never stopped FOX.