Color Me Elmo
We took our kids to see Sesame Street Live: Elmo's Coloring Book at the Denver Coliseum this weekend. Here is my critical review of this experience.
Drive Time C-
It takes an hour to get to downtown Denver from where I live, with traffic, it took 76 minutes...not bad, but not great either, plus, Rush Limbaugh's show wasn't on yet.
Parking A
We ended up getting there early and I was able to secure a spot in the shade on a 90 degree sunny day. It was also free (which was the ONLY free thing that day).
Tickets C+
$10 isn't bad for a kids show, but after TicketMaster adds their fees, it was closer to $16.
Seats B
We opted for 4 together with an aisle seat. Also, we didn't make the mistake of sitting on the floor when we saw The Wiggles. We were 8 rows up, slightly off center. Really very nice.
Souveiners C-
Another $16 down the drain for a soft soccer ball and plastic purse, both adorned with the Sesame Street characters to remind our kids of all the money we spent to make them happy. We opted not to get a program that also doubled as a coloring book because for $7, we could get 500 sheets of white paper for our kids to color on.
Bathrooms C
Bland, boring, utilitarian.
Storyline D
Elmo and his friends (Big Bird, Oscar, Bert & Ernie, Zoe just to name the principles) are wanting Professor Art (the only person on stage not in a full Sesame Street costume) to use his new invention to transplant everyone into the picture they're coloring. This is only successful, of course, if the audience laughs enough. This was a problem because my daughter is smart and was asking, 'why are we laughing?' Eventually, Elmo and the gang end up in Egypt, where a pot of gold loses its color; with the dinosaurs, where a dinosaur loses its color; and Sesame Street where Oscar the Grouch loses his color (more on this later). In the end, the culprit is discovered and influenced to cease with the color theft and everyone is friends.
Lighting A-
The stage was reminiscent of a Vegas show, there were so many lights. It kept me awake.
Sound - Incomplete
Everything was taped. The sound guy has a hard job back there pressing "play".
Thematic Elements F
I mentioned earlier that Oscar the Grouch at one point has his color stolen and he turns white. That would have been fine with me except that along with his color, his personality changed. He was happy, outgoing, friendly...the complete opposite of his normal disposition. The message we're sending to kids, I hope you're white, because only then can you be happy.
On the other hand, the thief who is stealing all the color turns out to be a polar bear. See, he's coveting the color everyone else has because he, and all his surroundings, are white. So he steals from those who have color. Just like the white man stealing from those of color in the real world. I guess David Duke wrote the first half and Al Sharpton the second.
Commerical Exploitation of Children A or F depending on if you're a parent or Sesame Street executive
The moment the guy in the yellow jacket scared my kids and scanned our tickets, we were bombarded with solicitation for the programs/coloring book. There were souvenier stands every 10 feet or so and of course, just like at the movie theatre, all the crap was proudly displayed at kid eye level. But by far the worst infraction came at intermission when the house lights came up and two men appeared from behind the curtain with enough helium filled Elmo balloons to fly my daughter back home. Strategically placed, every child in the house sees these lovely balloons and naturally clamors for one. Good thing we were out of money at this point. The real fun was watching the 4-5 dozen balloons float up to the ceiling because apparently, 3 year-old children have trouble holding onto ballooons. It's good they didn't cry or throw a fit or convulse in the aisle right next to me. I would love to come back in a few days during a monster truck rally and see some balloons fall down.
Concessions D-
Not that it's super important to have good concessions at a Sesame Street live show, and I understand the arena has to make money too, but this show started at 10:30am. We were in our seats 15 minutes early and the cotton candy guy is already tempting my children and I'm thinking 'I can still taste the eggs I had for breakfast,' maybe that's another problem but there he is, offering to inject my children with high fructose corn syrup. Cotton candy is the absolute worst thing you can give children in a situation where they are expected to sit still. It's terribly messy and sticky and provides no nutition whatsoever. It was a horrible decision to purchase it and I take full responsibility. Also, snow cones are the most disappointing 'refreshment' ever. I might as well just chew ice because that's what it is. All the syrup drains to the bottom and just leaves colored ice. And if I want something cold, shouldn't I just get dipping dots or ice cream? Yes, yes a thousand times yes. Please heed my advice and steer clear of snow cones. And also cotton candy...unless you need energy to clean your house or something because I'm coming over.
Overall C+
My kids enjoyed it, but not as much as I'd hoped. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would, but only because I had a cynical attitude. I never want to hear the phrase 'Let's get down and dirty with Oscar!' uttered ever again in my presence.
'The Wiggles Live!' was much more enjoyable. Read that last sentence again.
posted by Dale @ 6:54 PM
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