April showers & stairs

It's April 29...took me twice the time to get to work because of the snow and ice...again, it's April 29

----------------

I fell down the stairs this morning...is there anything an adult can do that seems more foolish and clumsy than tumbling down the stairs? I've been dealing with stairs for almost 30 years now and I'm very familiar with the stairs in my home, where the event took place. Admittedly, I was having a very intense thought at the time, but it worries me to know that I can't really think and walk down stairs at the same time...plus it messed up my hair and I had to start over...not good times.

You are Antichrist

According to Senator Ken Salazar, I work for The Antichrist...how can I let him know that The actual Antichrist, Emperor Nero, already lived and died? He must not be post-millenial. Too bad...what a tolerant guy though.

NASA is a waste of money

I'm passionately against sending people into space. I think it's the biggest waste of taxpayer dollars going. Billions of dollars a year are pumped into a program sending fewer and fewer astronauts into space to accomplish less and less.
If anyone out there can tell me how America is benefitting from continuing to send people into orbit, please, PLEASE let me know what I'm missing.
I've believed for a long time, we could accomplish much more as a space program if we would just abandonded this love affair we seem to have as a country with sending people into space and concentrated one billion dollars each year to unmanned space exploration.
Think about this...we've sent, depending on who you believe, people to our moon and no further. We have robotic, unmanned satellites going to all parts of our Solar System and beyond. We've sent little remote contol cars to Mars, and a major satellite is spinning around Saturn now.
I'm facinated by space and what's out there, but I'm not behind this crazy notion that we have to sacrifice billions of dollars, and astronauts lives, to be succesfully exploring the heavens.

Bubble Gum

I often find it interesting how comforting I find chewing gum. I'm not an ex-smoker, but I did use chewless tobacco for a short while and quickly replaced it with gum and sunflower seeds. But even before that, since middle school or so, I've had an ongoing love affair with gum. I went away from it for a while, but now I'm back at the 7-11, buying Orbit bubblegum. Better than Copenhagen...or Red Man. Wow, what a racist name for tobacco.
Anyway, I have spitting problem.

Back in the Saddle

Sorry for the hiatus, but I'm back blogging again.

It's been snowing for two days...by the way, it's April 25.

I just got done performing in a local musical...I'm left with some very dissonant feelings.
On one hand, I'm really glad that it's over. It's been like having another full time job, and it will be nice to sleep without those d*mn songs in my head.
On the other hand, I'm really sad that it's over. I've become very close to others involved, and the life waiting for me after it's over isn't nearly as exciting.

I'm all torn up like a Kerry/Edwards campaign sign.

I Miss My TV

I've been so busy lately, I've not been able to dedicate as much time as I normally do taking in the benefits of a great American Institution, broadcast television. I recently read that an average American adult watches over 4 hours of television a day. I couldn’t believe that. Over 4 hours! How do these people do it? I could never limit myself to just 4 hours. There’s just so much on TV these days, so many channels. Even if there’s nothing “good” on, there’s still something on. You know the routine, first you look at your favorite channels hoping to find something you want to watch. When you find nothing there, you move on to your secondary channels, the ones that you remember there was something good on once. After that, it’s the TV Guide channel to find anything worth watching, or at least, a show that will come on in the next hour or so. Then you’re only stuck with bad shows until this other thing comes on, so you begin to search for the best show that’s on until then which is usually Xena: Warrior Princess because I think it has its own channel now. Seriously, any time of day, you can find Xena. Actually Xena retired so they stopped making that show. How does a warrior princess retire? I guess she just stepped back from the warrior part because I imagine it’s pretty hard to give up being a princess. And that’s why she had to stop making the show, because who would watch a show called "Xena: Princess and retired warrior?" No one, that’s who. But hey, that never stopped FOX.

This isn't good

I'm nearing the end of a maddening rehearsal schedule for a musical I agreed to participate in. Monday through Friday, my schedule is basically work until 5, rehearsal at 6, home after 10pm. I see my kids maybe 30-60 minutes a day, and a few hours on Sat. and Sun.
Now, when I tell my son "I love you" he responds "Don't go, Daddy."
I will now rip my own heart out.
This is the most heartwrenching thing I have ever experienced with my children. Priding myself on being a father who is actively involved in their lives, trying to overcome my own selfish desires to place their needs and even wants ahead of my own.
I'm really enjoying my time and involvement in this production, but I'm starting to question the wisdom of chasing my own dreams at my stage in life, and seeing character qualities in myself that I'm not too crazy about and need to change.
Sorry to be all heavy today...it's cathartic to vent sometimes.

# 4 celebrates # 2

My son, who is so fortunate to have a Roman Numeral (IV) at the end of his name, turned 2 years old today.
I'm not sure he fully comprehends what's going on. When we tell him 'Happy Birthday' he responds in kind with 'Happy Birthday'
We had his new train set arranged for him when he awoke, and while he seemed generally pleased, his overarching question was 'Where's cake?'

It's funny I think how he already associates birthday's with cake...when we think about significant annual or semi-annual events, it's interesting to discover what associations we have.
I remember the first time I had Thanksgiving with my in-laws, I found myself asking 'Where's wine?'

It's a happy birthday

My daughter is 4 today, my son will turn 2 tomorrow. I can't imagine my life without them. In fact, I can't remember my life without them. Seems like they've been around forever.

Yesterday my daughter asked my wife, "why is it when one person yawns, it makes another person yawn too?"

Such an observant child surely deserves a better living example than me. Without God's help, I am wholly inadequate to be her father.

Lunar Japan

Don't know how many of you saw the news that Japan is planning to send astronauts to the moon by the year 2025.
I remember that JFK first said we would put a man on the moon by the end of the decade sometime in 1961, and apparently we did achieve that goal in 1969.
My quesiton is this: Why would it take Japan over twice as long, given all our modern technology, etc. to put a man on the moon as it took us in the 60's?
Could it be that we never actually landed on the moon?
I tried finding a picture of the moon from Earth of where we landed. No such picture exists, at least on the internet. We can see millions of light years into the universe, but we can't focus in on the lunar landing sites.
Interesting...

Just Change My Oil!

I don't want a new air filter
I don't want a new fuel filter
I don't want you to offer me a radiator flush
I don't want to hear it's time for me to have my transmission checked
I don't want an oil upgrade
I don't want you to incoherently run through a list of meaningless things you checked out before making me pay
I don't want you to ask me if my contact information is still accurate

JUST CHANGE MY OIL!

4 going on 24

On her way to preschool yesterday, my daughter was expressing to my wife how she didn't want to go today, how she didn't like it, etc.
My wife and her talked through it and prayed about it and when done, my daughter takes a deep breath and says "OK, I think I can handle this today."
I was shocked. I never went through anything like this, even in (especially in) college. Are the academic and social demands of Preschool Partners driving my daughter to stress out?
Afterwards, I learned the rest of the story involved stickers for doing good things and being one away from completing her chart and having to start a new chart and how the other girls would have more than her...you could make a TV show out of this...call it Preschool Partners 80920.

Dorothy was my neighbor

Often when I tell people I'm from Kansas, they often bring up the cinematic classic, The Wizard of Oz. It's something I'm used to, but not particularly proud of. Now there are several famous lines from that movie. “There’s no place like home.” “Somewhere over the rainbow.” Of course my favorite is “Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore!” Classic, just classic. Except, in my opinion, Judy Garland read that line totally wrong. I’d be saying, “Toto, toto, WE’RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE!!! WHOO HOO!!” The problem is, you can’t really enjoy Oz because you’re on the Wicked Witch’s hit list for smashing your house on her sister. I think, you know in order to kind of smooth things over, my first order of business would be to open up a Krispy Kreme donut shop. Right there. Just off the yellow brick road next to where the short people live. It’d be perfect. All of the citizens of Oz would be instantly addicted to the highest quality breakfast pastry of the late 20th Century. I’d have glazed donuts, sprinkled donuts, and I’d even have a “fly through” window for the flying monkeys to pick up their banana crème filled donuts. And I bet the Wicked Witch of the East would just totally forget about that whole sister-crushing incident and drop that whole being evil thing and start offering rides to the Krispy Kreme for the citizens of Emerald City, because it’s like a three day walk. Yes, harmony would be restored to Oz, of course it would mean the demise of the Lollipop Guild, but all’s fair in a capitalist system.

Eating with your eyes closed

Often times, we see the traits in us that we don't like reflected in our children. When they scream at the KU basketball team for not getting the ball into the post.
How refreshing and rewarding it was then to see my son imitate behavior that we consider vital.
After we had sat down for dinner, and prayed, he spent the remainder of our time eating, closing his eyes, and mumbling various words, always ending with 'Jesus, amen.'
In light of this, who cares about basketball?

Ice Cream

I took my kids to get ice cream (this is a reward for going to bed without complaining 4 nights in a row)
I asked them once we were there, what kind of ice cream would you like?
My daughter answers 'pink'
My son answers 'blue' ( he had to settle for pistacio almond which was really more green than blue but judging from the verocity by which he consumed it seemed to be sufficent)
My kids are now truly on the way to being pushed into their gender stereotypes. Take that N.O.W.!
But on a non-social/politcal point, it reminded me of how nice it is to be a child and make decisions about things like ice cream by the color and not the taste.
Imagine walking into a car dealership and saying, I want that one because it's red.
Being a responsible adult can be hard at times when you observe such a carefree lifestyle being led by your children.
But being a responsible adult is ultimately better than being an irresponsible adult where you end up taking a paternity test for Maury Povich.

MDT & Pampered Chef

So it's Daylight Savings Time again! Despite feeling well rested and finally over my cold, I'm going to punch someone in the face if I hear "Wow, I can't believe how light it is outside at 7:30pm!"

It happens EVERY YEAR! UGGGGGGH!

Maybe if my daughter, who's 4, said it, I wouldn't punch her in the face.

*********

Last night we had a Pampered Chef party. I'm all for chefs being pampered, but I'm suprised noone has taken this concept to other professions. Like Pampered Grocery Clerk or Pampered Youth Pastor.
I bet if there was such a thing as Pampered Youth Pastor, the number one selling item would be ritalin.

Vaccuumcize

I just vaccuumed my whole house (2300 sq. ft.)
I'm exhausted.
In our house it's a two person job. One person vaccuums and the other precedes them picking things up.

On another note for you parents or parents to be, don't let your 4 year-old hide the Easter eggs.

muffindale

Rewrite my script please

I need your help.
I have a line in an upcoming musical that I need to change. The line as written is...

"A fine woman is the greatest work of God on Earth. You can talk all you want about Niagara Falls or the Pyramids. They aren't in it at all."

Niagara Falls are a beautiful example of a great work of God. But the Pyramids? Without getting into the semantics of whether or not they were created by God, let's just say I think there are better examples of great works of God besides the Pyramids.

What should I replace 'the Pyramids'? The Northern Lights, Pikes Peak, The Republican Party and low-carb peanut butter are the best I can come up with. Please send me your suggestions.

Why is my radio all screwed up?

HA HA HA! This morning I get in my car and turn on the radio and they're country music playing (I don't have a preset to a country station) Then I figure out that 1. It's April Fool's Day and 2. The station and DJs I normally listen to are on the country dial setting.
I remember falling for this when I was 11. I was devastated and confused for about 30 seconds.
Good going guys, you switched studios. You had us all fooled! *rolling eyes*